Entertainment Sports David Beckham Wishes He Could 'Erase' Memories of '98 World Cup Loss and Backlash: 'I Got Abused' by Fans People hurled insults (and TVs), tabloid headlines called him "childish," and an effigy of the footballer hung outside a London pub — all of which caused the legendary athlete to question his "mistake" By Anna Lazarus Caplan Anna Lazarus Caplan Anna Lazarus Caplan is a writer-reporter for PEOPLE. She has been working at PEOPLE since 2022. Her work previously appeared in the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, The Dallas Morning News, Eater and other publications. People Editorial Guidelines Published on October 3, 2023 07:02PM EDT Close Photo: Courtesy of Netflix Twenty-five years later, David Beckham is revealing the extent to which he was affected after fans blamed him for England’s early exit from the World Cup in 1998. “I wish there was a pill that you could take that could erase certain memories,” the now-48-year- old soccer star says in the second episode of the Netflix docuseries Beckham. “I made a stupid mistake.” He adds, “It changed my life.” Beckham’s “mistake” was getting a red card for kicking Argentina's captain Diego Simeone, after the player pushed him to the ground. England later went on to lose the match — and many fans began to lose their minds. David Beckham Says He Felt Like He Was 'Drowning' at the Peak of His Fame in New Doc Trailer One threw a TV through a third-floor window, and in tabloid headlines and according to pundits, Beckham was vilified, his World Cup performance described as “childish,” “petulant” and “stupid,” according to the documentary. “Wherever I went, I got abused, every single day,” he says, swallowing hard. “To walk down the street and see people look at you in a certain way, spit at you, abuse you, come up to your face and say some of the things that they said. That’s difficult.” Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. He adds, “The whole country hated me.” And it was all overwhelming for the 23-year-old who sought refuge for a time with — the Spice Girls. In the documentary, he is shown reuniting with his future wife, Victoria Adams — who had just told him she was pregnant with their first child before the World Cup — in New York City as they performed at Madison Square Garden in the weeks after the devastating game. David Beckham and England captain Alan Shearer. Ross Kinnaird /Allsport “I remember really not understanding how serious it was, what had happened because you know, I’d never really been into football,” Victoria says in the doc. “I love watching him play football but then I love whatever he does. He could be painting a wall and I’d love watching him painting a wall. It was him that I wanted to support.” Victoria recalls that David “felt he let himself down, he let his teammates down, he let his country down, he let the fans down.” Despite his soon-to-be fiancé’s support, Beckham began to spiral in response to the backlash — or “carnage,” as Victoria calls it — once he returned to the U.K. Beckham wasn’t eating or sleeping — “I was a mess.” Courtesy of Netflix “He’d walk down the streets and people would be spitting at him,” his friend David Gardner recalls. “But he never reacted, not once,” he adds — not even when an effigy of Beckham was hung from a noose outside of a London pub. David and Victoria Beckham Reminisce on the Moment They Met: ‘I Just Fancied Her’ Beckham looks back on the time with a seeming awe and some stoicism. But recalling the toll that the backlash took on his parents, he begins to get emotional. “It brought a lot of attention that I would never wish on anyone, let alone my parents,” he says. “And I can’t forgive myself for that, that’s the tough part, what happened then. I was the one that made the mistake.” He adds, “It’s only now that I beat myself up about it.” Beckham begins streaming on Netflix on October 4.