Common ENTJ behavior, why it’s happening, and what to do.

1. Problem: You’re upset and want to vent to your ENTJ about a situation. Instead of lending an ear to listen your ENTJ keeps giving constructive criticism and solutions when you just want him to STFU and listen.

• Why is this happening?: Your ENTJ loves you and is trying to improve your mood by solving your problem. ENTJs will direct their energy to neutralize the root cause and source of the problem, they won’t waste time treating the symptoms. Example: you failed a math test (root cause) and you’re feeling upset about it (symptom). The ENTJ would rather tutor you in math (fix the root cause) than tell you it’s going to be okay to improve your mood (fix the symptom). To the ENTJ actions are always preferable to words. 
• Solution: Communicate to your ENTJ you just want him to listen. Be aware and understanding that ENTJs are not naturally programmed to be spectators. They dislike hearing about problems that they can’t fix or that they aren’t allowed to fix. We hate feeling like our hands are tied.
  

2. Problem: Your ENTJ is controlling. He keeps parenting you. He is overbearing.

• Why is this happening?: Your ENTJ thinks you’re incompetent and that you can’t be trusted to successfully complete the tasks that he’s doing or monitoring for you. The good news is that if an ENTJ takes time out of his schedule to do this it means he cares. The bad news is that he doesn’t want to do it continuously, and more importantly, he shouldn't have to. ENTJs are not controlling by nature, they will only step in and assert themselves if they feel the situation is spinning out of control or in the hands of someone completely inept. ENTJs bring order to chaos. If you project an aura of disorganization, incompetence, and chaos you will trigger your ENTJ’s dictator mode. This ENTJ dictator mode is extremely draining energy-wise to the ENTJ because we’d rather be doing other things like living our own goddamn lives instead of fixing yours.
• Solution: Please do everyone a favor … if you’re a grown ass man or a grown ass woman you need to act like one and get your shit together. Do whatever it is properly and consistently. That’s how you gain the confidence and respect of other people. It’s how you get people to stop treating you like a child and/or a human train wreck.

3. Problem: You got into a huge argument with your ENTJ but the next day he’s acting like everything’s normal. 

• Why is this happening?: What felt like an argument that left you black and blue was just a normal conversation/debate to the ENTJ. We communicate aggressively and we present our ideas the same way.
• Solution: There isn’t one because there’s no problem. Stop being butthurt because everything’s fine.

4. Problem: You got into a huge argument with your ENTJ and now he won’t respond to texts/calls and has removed you from all social media accounts. You’ve been shut out.

• Why is this happening?: You did something to violate the ENTJ’s core principles and now you’re experiencing the ENTJ doorslam. You’re essentially being excommunicated/shunned. The most common cause of the ENTJ doorslam is disloyalty. If you did something disloyal like side with your ENTJ’s enemy, gossip/talk shit about your ENTJ behind his back, cheat in a relationship, or hurt one of your ENTJ’s loved ones you’re dead on arrival.
• Solution: You are cut out from the ENTJ’s life. If the ENTJ wants to let you back in he will engage first. Until then, don’t hold your breath, don’t be desperate and pathetic, and don’t beg or grovel because it’s just sad. Accept it and move on.

5. Problem: You were in a relationship with an ENTJ but he’s suddenly ended it. You feel blindsided by this decision and he doesn’t seem affected by the breakup.

• Why is this happening?: The ENTJ doesn’t see any future potential in this relationship and he doesn’t see any reason to invest more time and energy into it. It’s inefficient to let a relationship that you know won’t work drag on and on when it could be ended quickly to free up both people to heal and move on. ENTJs move on very quickly which will leave many types – feelers in particular – reeling. His Te-Ni has told him you two are incompatible and he has already rationalized and made peace with ending the relationship which is why you don’t see the usual emotional turmoil. There’s still a little residual sadness and a little nostalgia, but the affection and energy to try is gone.
• Solution: Accept it and move on.

If you have further questions –> ask.